Highlights at the End of an Era

It's the end of an era!! Dun, dun, dun! I know, it's a bit dramatic as a way to start this post, but I am reaching the end of my housekeeping career. I recently accepted a job as a high school English teacher (yay!) where I, hopefully- knock on wood!- will delight teenagers with my incessant ramble on any number of topics, not the least of which is my amazing housekeeping career. As you know, all good things come to an end, and, in this case, some mediocre things also come to an end. I am incredibly excited about my new career, but there are a few small things that I will miss about housekeeping. Allow me to enlighten you.
1. The hours. You can't really get a better schedule than a schedule you have control over. Well, except for a schedule where you actually choose your own hours, like an at-home business or something. But that's neither here nor there. In housekeeping, if I want to get done early, I merely go faster. If I need the hours, I can take my time. Heck, I could spend ten hours/day cleaning at most places before they raise an eyebrow. They might call you slow, but you can chalk it up to any number of things: back pain, allergies to cleaning products (which would lead to you putting on masks and additional equipment for every room, thereby adding up additional minutes of work time), a penchant for thorough and detailed cleaning, asthma, etc. It's usually no big deal if you take your time. And, if you choose to speed, as I usually do, especially when I was a full time student juggling two part time jobs, extra-curriculars and a full homework load, you can bust out of there early, maybe 4 or 5 hours of cleaning a day, maybe even less if you're lucky. Going quick is fairly easy, but it takes practice, and you need to be efficient. You can't be returning to your cart for supplies every two minutes. You need to look at the bathroom once, say, okay, I need 3 bath towels, 2 hand towels, 4 washcloths, a hand soap, a shampoo and a conditioner, one bath soap, one toilet paper, one kleenex, a bath mat, and a new shower curtain liner, and then grab all of that off your cart and place it in the bathroom, like that (snap!). One swift motion, my friends. You can do it! You may or may not need to bulk up; protein shakes, crunches, etc. It all depends on you. Same with the general cleaning. I have perfected the art of dusting while making a bed. I kid you not, it's not that tricky. One hand throws the duvet onto the bed while the other dusts the TV; then the other dusts the end table while you fluff the pillows. Hey, I've been doing this for nearly a decade; I've got mad skills.
2. The coworkers. This one's more serious. There are some incredible, hard working people out there working as housekeepers. I can't stress this enough. Yes, there are slackers, as with any job. I've seen them. I've had my own down days when I felt like a slacker worker. But, for the most part, these are some tough people. It's a hard job. And it's usually a bunch of hard-working, determined mothers who take up this career path. They are incredibly friendly, blunt, funny, and generally awesome. It's a tough job; not for the weak or weak of heart. You're down on your knees, scrubbing floors, scrubbing tubs, picking gross stuff out of corners, cleaning up various messes and bodily fluids and other disturbing things. With that, I return to my usual rant- TIP YOUR HOUSEKEEPERS! Especially if you leave a huge mess, seriously, it's just common sense, it's just basic human compassion. Are you human? If so, you must tip them, you simply must, or I will have to ask you to turn yourself over for scientific research as, contrary to popular belief, you may not in fact be human. I know, it's a heartbreaker, but we would literally have to go there.
3. Free lunch. Although the food does suck, it's free. No further explanation necessary.
4. Epic uniforms. Just kidding. The uniforms are awful. They are seriously dreadful. Just check out any housekeeper the next time you visit a hotel. Well, don't check check them out. Don't be creepy. Just take a non-creepy glance as you say hello. Does the uniform scream sexy Amazon superwoman? Nope, it screams dowdy maid. Trust me on this. I will not miss the uniforms. We're kinda known as the Smurf Patrol. We wear blue on blue. It's pretty much the opposite of aesthetically pleasing.
5. Free toilet paper. And soap. Maybe a cleaning supply or two if your boss is generous; that kind of depends on the place. Seriously, I have never bought toilet paper. NEVER! And now I will have to start; it's depressing on multiple levels, as you can imagine...
6. Your very own cart! (Imagine that being as exciting as a prize on The Price is Right.)
Yes, at most places, you do get to lug around a 300-pound stack of awesome. In some, they even let you personalize it. (Think stickers.) It's a joyous experience. If you're lucky, you might even encounter a situation when your cart defies gravity and starts to tip over but then miraculously rights itself just before it crushes you to a pulp. Your life will actually start to flash before your eyes. It's quite extraordinary.
Well, I guess that's pretty much all as far as things that I'll miss. I was really starting to reminisce on the cart before I realized that I will be upgrading to my own entire room, yippee! That will be a jubilee and a half, I assure you. Unfortunately, with my career change, this blog may be reaching its end. Or not. I haven't decided for sure yet. Certainly, I can still rant about housekeeping even after I leave the profession. Time will tell...