I've been applying for a lot of teaching jobs recently. I know, I know, I'm not going to be a housekeeper forever. It is slightly disappointing. But, on the bright side, there's always something that needs cleaning.
When I do leave my current position, though, I think I will try to make some changes for my fellow housekeepers. You know, leave my imprint. And not just through the vacuum marks on the carpet. No, on a serious note I actually do wonder if I could make the hotel a better place for all those ladies who are in it for the long run. The career housekeepers, if you will. I'm not quite sure how it will go down, but I do want something rather epic to happen on my last day. I'm still in the planning phase. Have to get back to you on that one.
But first I just thought I 'd run some ideas by you. Well, not so much ideas as a rant, and not so much a rant as it is advice. It's advice that I can offer you to be good guests so that the career housekeepers don't have to suffer as much. Because, in all honesty, some days are brutal. There's always the totally trashed/destroyed room that makes you want to run out of the building screaming. Fortunately, that usually only happens maybe once or twice a month. Unless it's a bad month. Or maybe just a hotel that attracts the wrong clientele.  If, for instance, you're working at a hotel/motel where the guests are paying by the hour...you might be in the wrong type of housekeeping job. Maybe you should quit. Or not. Whatever floats your boat. Whatever roasts your beans. Whatever flips your pancakes. Whatever...
Anyways, onto my much-anticipated advice. I can tell you're on the edge of your seat. For today, however, I am offering you just one healthy chunk of advice that I dearly hope you'll follow, and it goes as such: Please, please TIP YOUR HOUSEKEEPERS!!!!
If you're scoffing at that, hear me out. Think of all the people you already tip. Do you tip your bartenders? Think about that. The guy literally just pulled a beer from a fridge, popped the top and handed it to you...does that really deserve a dollar? Now, I have nothing against bartenders. Actually, one of my sisters is currently a bartender, and I know that she's works hard. When she mixes me a complicated drink, of course I tip her; I'm not evil. She's my sister, for Pete's sake. But if she pours me a beer, I might not tip her because it's just so simple. Even though I love her dearly, for one lousy beer, yeah...I'm not going to tip her. Sorry if that makes me a bad person, but I think it's understandable. Now, how many of you tip one of those guys that open a door for you? You know, at one of those fancy-pants restaurants or hotels or something? He literally just opened a door. People do that for free all the time. Or the people who carry your luggage around for you at a fancy hotel? Maybe if it's full of rocks, literal rocks, otherwise I will carry my own luggage, gosh. Do you tip baristas at coffee shops? They always have those little tip cups. Here I return to the bartender arguement- if it's a complicated triple nonfat double frappe super latte or some such nonsense, please tip the poor person. They deserve it. If it's one cup of joe, I don't tip, sorry. And I think everyone tips their hairdressers, even though they're already setting their own prices at most places, so it's technically like double pay for them. A manicurist? A masseuse? They both get tips, too. And of course, how many of you tip your waiter/waitress? Yes, yes, I do tip my waitstaff. Like I said; I'm not evil. And waitressing is hard, man, trust me. I've been there, done that. But, if you forgive my criticism, technically, they still don't do as much as housekeepers. They technically only greet you, bring you drinks and food and a check. They sometimes have to do refills, special orders and other weird stuff like that. And I'm not saying you shouldn't tip all of these people as well as all of the other jobs that I've missed. Do tip; people work hard and most of the time are underpaid. Tipping is good. I'm just saying that, consider what you're tipping for. How much work are the people you tip actually doing for you. If you use this very logical system, you will realize how drastically undertipped housekeepers are. And hopefully, you will tip accordingly.
As housekeepers, there's quite a lot that we do for you. First off, we change the sheets so that you're not sleeping in some disgusting hairy dude's armpit sweat. You're welcome. We dust like mad. We scrub, scrub, scrub the shower, toilet, sink, and bathroom floor until there's not a germ or hair in sight. Yes, we scrubs toilets. That alone deserves a tip, if you're tipping people for simply handing you a beer. We leave towels in your room. Then, when you ask for more, we leave more. Then, when we ask for still more, we again replenish the blasted towels! We leave you water bottles, coffee, tea, cups, mints, toiletries, and more. We vacuum. We wipe down light switches and remotes so that you don't catch whatever the last guy had. And we do all that every day of your stay. Over and over until you leave. So if you stay for three or four days and you don't tip us, how can you possibly live with yourself?! You're the meanest person ever. Look up "meanie" in the dictionary, and it's a picture of your face. No offense, but it's there.
I'll say it again: please tip your housekeepers. In terms of the amount of hard physical work and effort put into helping make things nice and easy for you, no worker does more and is yet so unrecognized and underappreciated. Techinically, if you tip most people 15-20% of your bill, I think you should do the same with housekeepers. It's only logical. Okay, I'm counting on you now. Please don't let me down.